family life

Often people ask me why I’m in Malawi doing volunteer work. Why do I spend all my time, energy and money on caring and helping the vulnerable children in Malawi? The answer is easy; I feel God want me here, doing this work.
The job is everything except easy.  I have to divide my attention between many children and moments of rest are very limited. But the love, joy and energy I receive back from them is unlimited. I don’t regret changing my life however definitely miss things like chatting with friends, going out for dinner, visiting the movie theater. It is almost 3 years ago I have been in the Netherlands and would love to come for a visit but Malawi is my home now.

Mwayi is finally discharged from the hospital after a stay of almost 7 weeks. I’m very happy we are all back home and able to have a ‘normal’ family live again. Mwayi is doing very well and gaining and growing a lot. After a few days in my house the grandmother decided to take him home. My hart filled with joy after hearing she is going to take care for him because I know there is nobody else who will do better. I will support the grandmother financially so Mwayi will be receiving all basics needs.

 Now Mwayi left there are six girls living with me in the house again. As the school year is ending we are busy making plans for the next year. Katie finished primary school but unfortunately never passed her standard 8 exams. Currently she is not going to school because her aunt did not have money to send her to school. Since she is living in my house she is following English class, three times a week. She really wants to go to secondary school so I decided to let her go for interviews for a boarding school in Lilongwe. The decision wasn’t easy because I have seen her growing and maturing living with her new family, but I want her to become independent and the only way to achieve that is good education. Her interviews will be beginning of August. Good secondary schools are very expensive in Malawi therefore I’m looking for a sponsor for her. If you know anybody who is willing and able to pay for her school fees please let me know!
Tiwonge is going to write standard 6 exams at the local primary school next month. Also she is following English class and we hope she will pass the interviews for Ebenezer school so she can continue her primary school education at a higher level.
Tryness and Diana both celebrated their 3^rd birthday in May so they will start primary school in September. Both are accepted at Ebenezer.
Maria will turn 3 years in November so she has to wait another year before she can go to the primary school. She will enjoy the nursery school for another year.


Love,
Nicole

 



Mwayi; a baby brother

On the 22nd of April 2015 a good friend went into labour. At 7 o'clock in the evening she walked to the hospital to deliver her child. After examination they decided to do caesarian section. At 11 o'clock a beautiful baby boy was born but the mother passed away while giving live to her son, leaving her husband and 4 year old daughter.

The family asked me to assist them taking care for the baby boy called Mwayi (meaning Lucky). As I knew the mother well I did not doubt and took the baby into the Africare house. Mwayi was born with a birth weight of 3300 grams. The delivery process was difficult and very stressful what caused that Mwayi is struggling a lot.
I’m typing this story while we are in the hospital. Mwayi has been here since he was a few days old. He received a lot of antibiotics however keeps being sick. The doctors are not sure what is causing the infections. His current weight is 2900 grams.
 

For the last two weeks we worked out a schedule so I can spend some time with everybody. I sleep with Mwayi in the hospital during the night. At 6 in the morning I go home to wake up the girls and prepare them for school. At 8 I go back to the hospital with Mwayi to see the doctor and to receive medication. From 4 to 7 in the afternoon I take him home so I can prepare dinner and we can all eat together. After putting the girls in bed I go back to the hospital to spend the night and receive more medication.
The schedule is as exhausting as it sound. I’m very tired and can’t remember the last day I had a proper night rest.

Little babies in Africa are so fragile and with the limited resources there is only 1 thing left to do; praying. Many people pray for Mwayi everyday and I would like to ask you to do the same.

Love,

Nicole

A star in heaven

On the 9th of December Malita Jasten delivered tiplets at Nkhoma hospital. This was her 6th pregnancy which means she had a total of 9 children now. The triplets were born pre-term and with a very low birth weight. Malita stayed almost 2 months in the Kangaroe care room but requested to go home after as she also had to care for her other 6 children. Unfortunately she was discharged without follow up appointment and without additional support.

A month after discharged we managed to find the mother and babies in the village to see how they were doing. A conclusion was quickly made; she couldn’t take care for all children herself. Her husband left her so she has to take care for the children and to make sure everyone in the family has enough to eat.
We agreed with her to come to the hospital frequently so we could support her. I started providing maize, likuni phala, blankets, clothes and money for transport. Now there was more food available we were hoping her breast milk would increase however reality was different.

On Tuesday April 14^th we agreed with the mother to take the smallest baby into the africare house. Trinity is the third born of the triplets and was born with a birth weight of 994 grams. She was suffering from severe malaria, severe anemia, severe pneumonia and severe malnutrition. I moved with Trinity into the hospital and prayed for her. After a few days she started recovering from the malaria and anemia however the doctor found out she also was in heart failure. The combination of all diseases was too much for her and on the 23^rd of April 2015 at 11pm Trinity died.

I stayed with Trinity for almost 10 days. I cared for her and loved her as much as I love my other daughters. I slept with her in the hospital and watched her day and night. The pain and cold I felt while she was dying is something I cannot explain. When Trinity died she took a piece of me with her. I will never forget her and always love her. I know she is in a safe place right now but the pain I feel is difficult.
Today she was buried in her home village.

Forever in my heart, a star in heaven.



 

Easter

Today is Easter. I woke up at 5 am the house is quiet, everyone is still a sleep. I have to think about a picture which I posted on facebook a year ago. Diana just started living with me; she was very sick, stunted and malnourished. I had no idea why God wanted me to take care for her. Now a year later her recovery is amazing, both physically and mentally she is doing so much better.  I often still think about the number of nights I was sitting next to her, checking her temperature every hour. Caring for her as most nights she would wake up many times crying and screaming. Today she is a happy almost ‘normal’ child. My prayer for Diana is to grow up in a stable and loving environment, to learn about the love of God for her.

Two weeks ago Katie and Tiwonge moved into the Africare house. Both of them were physically abused for years and urgently needed a save home. My first priority for Tiwonge was to go and visit her family.
A few days ago she returned from her family visit, we found out she had not seen them for seven years! Tiwonge was sent to her uncle when she was only 5 years old. Her family is very poor however life with her uncle wasn’t much better. Tiwonge is still processing everything she saw the last few days, when she arrived in the village she didn’t recognize her parents and sisters. She also discovered she has a little brother which is 9 months old.
My prayer for Tiwonge is to build up a strong relationship with her family. To know God is helping her while she is learning and growing every day. To receive healing for the pain she had to go through.

Both Katie and Tiwonge will start English classes next week. I found a teacher who is going to teach them three times in the week.
Hopefully their English will improve soon so communication will be easier.

 

Fenalli (left on the family picture) is a babysitter who is living with me. She fell pregnant when she was 15 years old. She had to stop secondary school and went back to her home village. She married the father of the child however never lived together with him. In May 2012 she delivered a baby girl called Tryness. In October last year Fenalli started working for me. She is attending secondary evening school and is a great help in the Africare house.

Love,
Nicole

Kate and Tiwonge

Last week one of my baby sitters brought two girls to my house. She watched them begging on the street for food for more than a week now and found out they were living by themselves. She offered them often a meal while begging but quickly saw they needed more help.

Kate is a beautiful, intelligent twelve year old orphan. Her mother died when Kate was 3 years old, after Kate was raised by her grandmother. As her grandmother is getting older, two years ago Kate started living with her aunt. The aunt gave birth to three children. She often changes jobs and therefore often changes villages and leaves Kate behind. Kate waits till someone send money so she can follow her aunt.






Tiwonge is an precious, sweet girl of also twelve years old. Her parents are very poor and not able to provide for here therefore her uncle took her, when she was 5 years old, out of the village to live with him. Due to a lack of money for transport she hasn’t seen her family since 2011.








Kate her aunt married Tiwonge her uncle. The aunt of Kate changed jobs again and left to the city last month. Kate was left behind. The uncle of Tiwonge was arrested a few weeks ago and left Tiwonge behind.

Seeing these two young, special girls fighting for their lives creates tears in my eyes. Living by yourself at the age of thirteen years. Dependent of other people for food, soap, clothes basically everything. Nobody who protects them, nobody who cares for them. Education is something they can only dream of.

Reading Proverbs 31:8,9
Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute. Speak up and judge fairly; defend the rights of the poor and needy.

I was convinced helping these girls. We found another uncle which decided to take the girls temporarily into his house. He drinks a lot and therefore we want to find as soon as possible a better living situation for them. During the day the girls are at my house. They have 2 meals at my house and I give them food home for dinner.
I arranged that Tiwonge is going to visit her family within the next two weeks. After seeing the situation in her home village we will decide if she comes to live at the Africare house or back home in the village with her parents.
For Kate we are trying to reach her aunt to discuss if she is willing to take care for Kate and able to send her to school. If not I will take both girls into the Africare house.

Love,
Nicole

Bowel surgery for Brandina

Brandina and her twin sister Brenda were born on the third of November 2014. Their mother is only 18 years old and mentally unsound. The babies were born pre-term at 32 weeks. The father left the mother when she was 4 months pregnant. After the birth, I assisted the grandmother in taking care of the babies. Because the mother was refusing to breastfeed, I was supplying Lactogen formula. Brenda was doing well and quickly gained weight. Brandina however didn't gain because of frequent vomiting. After 6 weeks of Kangaroo care in Nkhoma hospital the family went home. But soon after discharge the grandmother came back to my house with Brandina because she couldn't manage to care for her. She now had to take care of two babies, look after her daughter, work on the field and do all the work of cooking and washing. Brandina was vomiting and crying very frequently which made the situation difficult. I decided to take Brandina into the Africare house.

I experienced the same problems as the grandmother, frequent vomiting and frequent crying. We started to observe her weight and she wasn't gaining much. We visited the pediatric doctor at Nkhoma Hospital several times and soon there was a diagnose: pyloric stenosis.
Now a surgeon had to be found who could do this operation on a very young baby. On Sunday February 22th there was a positive answer from a surgeon of Kamuzu central hospital in Lilongwe. The next day we were admitted in the peds department to be operated on Wednesday. Kamuzu Central Hospital is a government hospital, which means the resources are very limited. The pediatric emergency department is very small with only a few beds, the number of patients however is high. It is very difficult for the few nurses and doctors to oversee all patients as every bed has at least 5 patients and many others are on the floor. Sleeping, sitting and eating is all done on the floor.
Brandina wasn't allowed to eat for 6 hours before the operation. The operation was planned for  the next morning and we had a sleepless night. At 8am a nurse brought us to the main operating theatre and they informed me the operation was going to take about an hour. So I waited outside, and waited and waited. Brandina finally came back after 3 hours. During the operation it turned out Brandina did not had pyloric stenosis but bowel obstruction. A minor procedure turned into a major operation. The operation went well but the next few hours were critical. In the afternoon we were back at the pediatric emergency department. Back in the room with at least another 100 patients. Because of her critical condition Brandina was given a place on a bed and luckily not on the floor. I observed her closly for the next 24 hours. She wasn't allowed to eat and had a lot of pain. She cried for the entire 24 hours. I tried to give her some comfort by holding her in my arms. It looked like the day and night passed by very slowly. The next morning at 9am she passed stool which is a sign the bowels are working again. The doctor came at 10am and after examination he said she could start drinking some milk. I gave her half a bottle and finally she fell asleep. We agreed with the doctors to be discharged and monitored at Nkhoma Hospital. Right now she still has a lot of pain and is only able to drink small amounts of milk. But she is improving and we thank and praise God for that!


Love,
Nicole

Maria's adoption

I'm taking care for Maria since she was born in November 2012. Maria is the fourth born to a mother which is mentally unsound. Her two brothers and sister all died soon after birth.
Maria was found a few days after birth in the bush were her mother delivered her. She was send to Nkhoma hospital as she was a premature baby with very low birth weight (1 kg). On arrival she had sunburns all over her body and she was put immediately on neonatal sepsis protocol. Together with the grandmother I took care of Maria. I taught the grandmother how to bottle feed her and the importance of hygiene. After two months in the hospital Maria left to the village however she came back very often because of severe diarrhea, malaria, sepsis etc.
After 6 months the grandmother asked me to adopt Maria, we visited the district social welfare office in Lilongwe and I became her official foster mother.

In November 2014 I started Maria's official adoption process. I contacted a lawyer who helped me preparing for the court case.  
In order to adopt a child in Malawi you have to get approval from the high court. Unfortunately soon after I contacted the lawyer the high court closed because of a strike.
End of January they opened again and beginning of February the Judge assigned a social worker from national office to investigate the case. A few weeks later the social worker visited my house and he visited the grandmother of Maria in the village. He wrote a report and supplied it to the judge. In meantime I supplied many documents to the lawyer. Copies of my passport, police clearance, medical report, family background report etc.

Thursday February 19^th the lawyer, I, Maria and Maria’s grandmother had to appear in court. The adoption petition was heard at 08.30 in the morning.
The judge decided to sign the adoption petition with a final adoption order. As of this date Maria Tirzah van Elteren is officially my daughter.

Since 2011 the Dutch law says that children adopted from Malawi automatically qualifying for a Dutch passport. Off course we have to do a lot of paperwork before Maria will receive her Dutch passport but soon she will have a Dutch nationality and passport!

Love,
Nicole