Last week

Some weeks are more difficult than other weeks. Last week a lot of things happened.

On Sunday afternoon I went with Happiness and Vanessa to the village to see their mother, we found her in severe pain. I was already buying morphine for her but clearly this was not enough anymore to reduce the pain. Also she developed pressure sores at the back. Because of her condition I couldn’t manage to take her to the hospital with my car so I promised to come back the next day. On Monday morning I went with the driver of the hospital ambulance back to the village to pick her up. She got admitted and she received more pain medication. Her condition however did not improve. On Wednesday afternoon she passed away.

Now I had the task to tell her children what happened. But how do you tell a four-year-old girl and a six-year-old girl that their mother passed away? I was very blessed that the hospital chaplains helped me having these conversations. The girls had some very difficult days but they did very well. They helped bringing the body of their mother back home to the village and attended the funeral.  Their mother was sick for a long time. The girls were responsible for doing daily tasks as going to the borehole, maize mill and cooking. They finally have the chance now to go to school and play with their friends but they will have to live with the loss of both parents.

On Wednesday one of the hospital HSA’s informed the hospital that there was a maternal death in his area. The baby survived however nobody came to the hospital to ask for Lactogen baby milk. I decided to go with the HSA to the village to see what exactly happened. After arriving in the village we found out the family is following the Zion religion. People who attend the Zion church are not allowed to visit the hospital or take medication when they are sick. The mother never attended antenatal clinic and delivered her child in the village. Since the delivery she was sick and pas away 2 weeks after her son was born. This village is extreme in their believes and didn't allow me to see the child or assist them with Lactogen baby milk. After 2 hours of talking they finally showed me the baby who was covered with bracelets and other accessories from the Zion church. Especially the close relatives are not happy and try to push me away from the baby. I explained an uncle how to prepare the milk and finally left the village. I realized the only thing I can do is pray for this precious baby boy that he will receive the milk and survive.

On Thursday a women, who I have been helping in the past with Lactogen baby milk because of severe breast abscesses on both breasts, reveals that she is pregnant again. Normally this would not be a huge issue however the lady was diagnosed with lung fibrosis. The chances that she will survive the delivery are low. She is already 26 weeks pregnant but only weighs 39 kilograms. She looks like a walking skeleton. I’m angry because she did not follow the advice of not getting pregnant anymore however what can I do? The woman is in desperate need of help.

On Saturday I wake up 3.30 am to start driving to Blantyre to attend sports day at the school of Katie. I arrive four hours later in Blantyre just on time to see Katie run the 100 meters, which she won! The tiredness disappears and makes place for excitement. My girl is running faster than anybody else! She ends the day with 7 medailles and a trophy for best athlete of the school. I could not have been more proud of her! I enjoy a few hours together with her before I start the drive back home. I arrive late, everybody in the house was already asleep. Another week passed, wondering what next week will bring.

Love,

Nicole

Eneless and Jonas

Eneless and Jonas joined my family in February 2015. Their mother died due to HIV AIDS and there was no family to care for them. When they arrived in my house Eneless and Jonas were both very sick. They got admitted in the hospital the next day and were started on multiple medications. Nobody in the village knew when they were born so we had to guess their ages. We decided to give Eneless the age of 4 and Jonas 1.

Now two years later both Eneless and Jonas have improved tremendously. Eneless gained almost double her body weight and grew much taller. She is a smart girl and is doing very well in school. She laughs a lot and likes to jump on the trampoline. She is responding well to the medication only struggling with a rash covering most of her body. She recently changed medication and we hope this will clear the body rash.

Jonas also improved big time however he is not doing as well as Eneless. Jonas is not responding very well to his medication and is often sick. Every month he spends some days in the hospital because of some kind of infection; pneumonia, bladder infections, sepsis, TB relapse etc.
Jonas is adorable and absolutely enjoys any kind of attention

- cuddles, lap time and hugs. He smiles a lot and loves reading stories.

The future for these children is unsure. A few months ago I went to the district social welfare office in Lilongwe and asked if any family could be found who would like to adopt these siblings. They responded, because of the medical situation, this was going to be very difficult.

Eneless and Jonas are 6 and 3 years old now. Eneless remembers very well the period while her mother was dying in the village. She often tells me about the hunger, witchcraft and traditional practices she was introduced to. We talk about it but it clearly impacted her. They enjoy living with me and making friends with the other children in the house and at school. However it would be good for them to find a family who would like to adopt them. A family who is able to give them better medical care as what is available in Malawi. 

Love,

Nicole

International day of the girl child

For several months I have been saying not to take anymore children into my house. There are 17 children and it is more than a fulltime job to make sure everybody is well taken care for. When a child goes back to the village or a child goes for adoption I will be able to help more. 

However today at the International day of the girl child God told me to do different.

Early this morning people from the village of Happiness and Vanessa came to my house. The mother of the girls is suffering from AIDS and her conditioning is worsening fast. The father died before Vanessa was born.

After I brought the other girls to school I go with them to the village. I find the mother inside the house. She is very weak and not able to sit or stand anymore. She is vomiting blood and not able to eat anything. Inside I’m crying because I know she will die soon now. However I’m trying to stay strong because of Happiness and Vanessa. These two little girls are taking care for their mother together with their 80 years old grandmother. I sit down with the grandmother and ask her what is going to happen with the girls. 

Hapiness is HIV positive and needs good care, which the grandmother is not able to give. The grandmother likes to drink to forget all problems and responsibilities. Every night when she is drunk Hapiness is not taking her medication.

Hapiness and Vanessa are responsible for drawing water, going to the maize mill, washing clothes, cooking food and more. Their mother became blind a few years ago. The girls help her to look for the right way to the hospital and plant their field. Happiness and Vanessa never had a chance to be child, never had a chance to attend school or play with friends.

I look at the girls and know they can’t live like this anymore. The situation is so incredible hopeless. These two precious children deserve so much more.

The mother starts talking. She asks me if I can please take care for her girls. They have no family because everybody died of the same disease. With tears in her eyes she kindly asks me to please take the girls and send them to school.

Hapiness and Vanessa are sitting next to us, they are so dirty that they did not bath for days. Their clothes are smelling, torn and too small.
I leave the village together 6 years old Hapiness and 4 years old Vanessa, I just can’t leave them their.