Adoptions

I'm trying to keep up with posting on this blog but that is very difficult being a mother of 20!

Last year I started working together with an adoption agency called Nightlight Christian adoptions to try to give some of my children a better future. Some children in my house have no possibility of returning to the village and having adopted two children of my own I know how much joy, blessings and love adoption brings.
The children in my house definitely do not have a bad live living with me but having a family of their own with lot's of attention and love would be something they all deserve. After lot's of prayers, preparation and waiting Tikondane and Caleb were adopted by two families from America last week. Last month has been difficult for me. I'm so incredible thankful and happy that they have a family of their own now but after taking care for them for more than a year it is not easy to see them going. Lot's of tears rolled down my face thinking about them leaving me. Both of them are adopted by amazing families and I could not have asked for anything more. But the truth is it hurts when two children who called you mama for so long are gone. There are times I start doubting if it was the right thing to do to refer them to the adoption agency. But as a mother of so many children I see they want more love and attention as what I'm able to give them. Deep in my heart I know it is better for them to grow up in their own families and it would be selfish from me to keep them all in my house.   
Both families promised lot's of updates and I'm eagerly waiting to see how they will adapt to their new lives and new families. 
Adoption is an emotional process but definitely worth it. It opens a world of opportunities and chances for these two precious boys.
I can't thank God enough for guiding and leading me through these new steps in my life.





My prayer for Tikodane and Caleb is that they will be loved and cared for by their new families. That they will grow up knowing their biological family and country of origin. That they will receive unconditional blessings and love from their new parents and brothers and sisters.
That they will grow up knowing Christ and understanding why they were referred for adoption. That they will have the opportunity to return in the future to visit their home country. 

Tikondane and Caleb will always have a special place in my heart.


Love,
Nicole

Highlights of 2017.

Today is the start of a new year, a year full of new opportunities.

2017 was a busy year. A year with difficult times, but mostly a year full of joy and laughter from my kids. I can’t explain how much I love my children, they are very precious to me.

I started 2017 admitted in the hospital with 4+ malaria. I was pretty sick but luckily recovered well.

Mid January Shakira and Shyreen joined my family. Two very malnourished and sick babies. Challenging weeks followed with difficult times in different hospitals and lot’s of prayers. The girls are now 1 year old and doing great. Shakira and Shyreen will return back to their home village November 2018. The grandmother will care for them.

Beginning of 2017 we moved to our new house. We are enjoying the house so much. We have much more space and no fights for the bathroom anymore! Incredible thankful for this enormous gift.

Also beginning of 2017, three children who stayed with me for about 18 months, went back to family members in the villages. I’m still supporting the children with food and other basic needs. Most important is that they are all doing fine and enjoying to be back with their family.

We gained more new children in 2017. In June Tikondane joined after his aunt was murdered in the village. (The mother of Tikondane died during childbirth). In July Elijah joined after his mother passed away and in August Caleb joined after his mother died during delivery. In October Happines and Vanessa joined after their mother passed away due to HIV. In November Madalitso joined after his mother passed away a month after delivery.

    

With the increasing number of children I explored options for adoption. At the moment there are 4 children in the process of adoption. Difficult but exciting. Some of the children have stayed with me for a long time so it will be difficult to see them going but I’m very thankful there are families willing to care for them and give them more love and attention than that I can offer them.

Jonas is still the child I worry about most. He is often sick and they are not managing to get his HIV under control. He got admitted in the hospital almost every month in 2017. Please pray with me that there will be a family who is willing to adopt him and his 6 years old sister soon.

Katie is doing very well at her boarding school and in November during sports day she became best athlete of her school! Katie is working very hard and I'm very proud of her she is realizing at young age how important school is. Katie lived on the streets for many years and never had anybody caring for her however she is turning into a beautiful, intelligent young lady and I feel honored I'm a part of her life. 

My own girls, Maria and Diana, both turned 5 years old. They are growing up so fast I wish sometimes I could stop the time. I enjoy having them around and they are absolute the greatest blessing I have ever received. Maria is a lovely girl who loves school and singing. She enjoys typical girl things like braiding her hair and playing with dolls. Diana is completely different. Her best friend in school is a boy, she loves to climb in trees and is always full of energy.
 

Beside all happenings in my house I also help 200 children in the villages. On a daily base they come to my house with questions, issues and problems. It is a huge amount of time and energy to help all these people but on the same time I’m so thankful that I’m able to help them.
Also I’m incredible thankful for the 9 babysitters who work for me. They spend many hours of walking around with crying and sick children but never complain. Especially this last year we have had many critically sick babies, without the help of my babysitter they would have never been as healthy as they are today.

I would like to say thank you to everyone who prayed for me and my children, donated to my project, came to visit or helped in any other way. I love meeting so many people who have the same calling and I’m looking forward to make many more friends all over the world this coming year!

Love,
Nicole

Last week

Some weeks are more difficult than other weeks. Last week a lot of things happened.

On Sunday afternoon I went with Happiness and Vanessa to the village to see their mother, we found her in severe pain. I was already buying morphine for her but clearly this was not enough anymore to reduce the pain. Also she developed pressure sores at the back. Because of her condition I couldn’t manage to take her to the hospital with my car so I promised to come back the next day. On Monday morning I went with the driver of the hospital ambulance back to the village to pick her up. She got admitted and she received more pain medication. Her condition however did not improve. On Wednesday afternoon she passed away.

Now I had the task to tell her children what happened. But how do you tell a four-year-old girl and a six-year-old girl that their mother passed away? I was very blessed that the hospital chaplains helped me having these conversations. The girls had some very difficult days but they did very well. They helped bringing the body of their mother back home to the village and attended the funeral.  Their mother was sick for a long time. The girls were responsible for doing daily tasks as going to the borehole, maize mill and cooking. They finally have the chance now to go to school and play with their friends but they will have to live with the loss of both parents.

On Wednesday one of the hospital HSA’s informed the hospital that there was a maternal death in his area. The baby survived however nobody came to the hospital to ask for Lactogen baby milk. I decided to go with the HSA to the village to see what exactly happened. After arriving in the village we found out the family is following the Zion religion. People who attend the Zion church are not allowed to visit the hospital or take medication when they are sick. The mother never attended antenatal clinic and delivered her child in the village. Since the delivery she was sick and pas away 2 weeks after her son was born. This village is extreme in their believes and didn't allow me to see the child or assist them with Lactogen baby milk. After 2 hours of talking they finally showed me the baby who was covered with bracelets and other accessories from the Zion church. Especially the close relatives are not happy and try to push me away from the baby. I explained an uncle how to prepare the milk and finally left the village. I realized the only thing I can do is pray for this precious baby boy that he will receive the milk and survive.

On Thursday a women, who I have been helping in the past with Lactogen baby milk because of severe breast abscesses on both breasts, reveals that she is pregnant again. Normally this would not be a huge issue however the lady was diagnosed with lung fibrosis. The chances that she will survive the delivery are low. She is already 26 weeks pregnant but only weighs 39 kilograms. She looks like a walking skeleton. I’m angry because she did not follow the advice of not getting pregnant anymore however what can I do? The woman is in desperate need of help.

On Saturday I wake up 3.30 am to start driving to Blantyre to attend sports day at the school of Katie. I arrive four hours later in Blantyre just on time to see Katie run the 100 meters, which she won! The tiredness disappears and makes place for excitement. My girl is running faster than anybody else! She ends the day with 7 medailles and a trophy for best athlete of the school. I could not have been more proud of her! I enjoy a few hours together with her before I start the drive back home. I arrive late, everybody in the house was already asleep. Another week passed, wondering what next week will bring.

Love,

Nicole

Eneless and Jonas

Eneless and Jonas joined my family in February 2015. Their mother died due to HIV AIDS and there was no family to care for them. When they arrived in my house Eneless and Jonas were both very sick. They got admitted in the hospital the next day and were started on multiple medications. Nobody in the village knew when they were born so we had to guess their ages. We decided to give Eneless the age of 4 and Jonas 1.

Now two years later both Eneless and Jonas have improved tremendously. Eneless gained almost double her body weight and grew much taller. She is a smart girl and is doing very well in school. She laughs a lot and likes to jump on the trampoline. She is responding well to the medication only struggling with a rash covering most of her body. She recently changed medication and we hope this will clear the body rash.

Jonas also improved big time however he is not doing as well as Eneless. Jonas is not responding very well to his medication and is often sick. Every month he spends some days in the hospital because of some kind of infection; pneumonia, bladder infections, sepsis, TB relapse etc.
Jonas is adorable and absolutely enjoys any kind of attention

- cuddles, lap time and hugs. He smiles a lot and loves reading stories.

The future for these children is unsure. A few months ago I went to the district social welfare office in Lilongwe and asked if any family could be found who would like to adopt these siblings. They responded, because of the medical situation, this was going to be very difficult.

Eneless and Jonas are 6 and 3 years old now. Eneless remembers very well the period while her mother was dying in the village. She often tells me about the hunger, witchcraft and traditional practices she was introduced to. We talk about it but it clearly impacted her. They enjoy living with me and making friends with the other children in the house and at school. However it would be good for them to find a family who would like to adopt them. A family who is able to give them better medical care as what is available in Malawi. 

Love,

Nicole